Do You Date Emotionally Unavailable men? Here’s The Best Lesson You Can Take From This Dynamic.

“You cannot heal the abandonment wounds until you allow yourself to fully experience your authentic feeling responses to the suffering of past …

Do You Date Emotionally Unavailable men? Here’s The Best Lesson You Can Take From This Dynamic.

Al- Muhaymin — The Bestower of Faith, The Guardian.

Allah calls Himself Al-Muhaymin— The Guardian, The Witness, The Overseer — on one occasion in the Quran. He is the One who ensures the wellbeing of …

Al- Muhaymin — The Bestower of Faith, The Guardian.

Life Happens

Originally posted on Land of the Giants: Sometimes it really does not matter how well you planned out your dreams, business ideas, relationships or …

Life Happens

Marriage advice that everyone should read

Gerald Rogers, a psychologist who went through a tough divorce, wrote an incredible post about life, love, relationships, and divorce. He started by …

Marriage advice that everyone should read

Ramadan Reflections (Day 26/27) & Eid Mubarak!

Bismillah.

O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. [66:6]

This verse 😦 Ya rabbi, protect us and our families from the fire, ameen. ❤

Allah presents an example of those who disbelieved: the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were under two of Our righteous servants but betrayed them, so those prophets did not avail them from Allah at all, and it was said, “Enter the Fire with those who enter.” 66:10

Profound! People are all about benefits, and being “hooked up” by others who are higher up. This may work in this world, but no one will be “hooking us up” in the hereafter. There are no shortcuts to jannah. You could be a wife of the prophet, and that says nothing. It doesn’t guarantee you’ll end up in jannah. It’s also a reminder not to judge others. Sometimes some family members are practicing and others are not.

People looking to get married often tend to say, I want someone whose family is practicing. This doesn’t mean anything … yes if they have good parents they’ll have good values, but it can be that the family isn’t practicing yet the person is, and they’re a great human being.

And conceal your speech or publicize it; indeed, He is Knowing of that within the breasts. Does He who created not know, while He is the Subtle, the Acquainted? [67:13-14]

*Goosebumps* Especially given the ending of this verse, Al Lateef (the subtle one), and Al Khabeer (the all aware).

Indeed, mankind was created anxious: When evil touches him, impatient, And when good touches him, withholding [of it], Except the observers of prayer – … [70:20-22]

Anxious. Human beings are created anxious. So so true. If you’re dealing is medical depression and anxiety then you seek professional help. However, if you’re facing your usual life struggles and feeling a bit anxious about your life then they way to combat is given to you … prayer, the next verse says “those who are constant in their prayer”.

Must. Stick. To. Prayer.

No. Matter. What.

Pray.

[And asking them], “What put you into Saqar?” They will say, “We were not of those who prayed, Nor did we used to feed the poor. And we used to enter into vain discourse with those who engaged [in it], And we used to deny the Day of Recompense Until there came to us the certainty.” [74: 42-47]

Again, one of the main reasons (always repeated) for people to end up in the hellfire is because they didn’t pray.

And you do not will except that Allah wills. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise. [76:30]

You and I cannot will anything, cannot want anything, cannot attempt anything, without the will of Allah swt.

Indeed, it is He who originates [creation] and repeats. And He is the Forgiving, the Affectionate, Honorable Owner of the Throne, Effecter of what He intends. [85:13-16]

The effector of what he intends. Profound. There is a plan, Allah swt is the planner. Everything in life happens for a reason.

No! [But] indeed, man transgresses Because he sees himself self-sufficient. Indeed, to your Lord is the return. [96: 6-8]

Sufficient. We are so not self-sufficient. This whole craze with being independent is ridiculous. We’ve become so selfish. It’s all about our happiness and that is it. And that is essentially why we live in a world of such unhappy people. We were never meant to be *self-sufficient*.

We are a communal people. We are interdependent. We are always meant to be of those who give. Happiness lies in serving others and shifting the focus off of your selfish selves.

Have you seen the one who denies the Recompense? For that is the one who drives away the orphan And does not encourage the feeding of the poor. So woe to those who pray [But] who are heedless of their prayer – Those who make show [of their deeds] And withhold [simple] assistance. [107: 1-7]

This verse I found fascinating. Maybe all these inherent diseases we have, being stingy, not praying, withholding kindness … there’s a deeper reason. We don’t believe. Again, *goosebumps*.

May Allah swt bless us with belief, tawakkul and complete reliance upon Him. May we be blessed with His mahabbah, His love <3, ameen.

May the little that we have done in this blessed month be accepted from us, ameen.

Eid Mubarak, Everone! ❤

Ramadan Reflections (Day 24/25)

Bismillah.

The last shot. 🙂

Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who argues with you, [O Muhammad], concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah . And Allah hears your dialogue; indeed, Allah is Hearing and Seeing.  [58:1]

This ayah commences surah Mujadilah. The word “Samih” or all-hearing is used 3 times in this first ayah. I once listened to a lecture where a speaker said how Allah swt is reassuring the woman who’s come with her issue … He swt uses the word “Samih” three times to acknowledge her. I find that beautiful. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are being heard by Allah swt, because sometimes we feel despondent.

Private conversation is only from Satan that he may grieve those who have believed, but he will not harm them at all except by permission of Allah . And upon Allah let the believers rely. [58:10]

Beautiful! Have you even been in a group situation where other people you’re with whisper to each other, or you catch them winking towards each other? You feel left out. You feel hurt. And that is the point, Shaitan is trying to make us feel sad. But we are reminded that no one can harm us except with Allah’s will, and for us to rely upon him.

Also, maybe sometimes we are the culprit here, and we are the ones talking about others. This serves as a reminder that such behaviour isn’t acceptable and we must strive to include people. May Allah swt protect us from being of those who harm others with our tongue and actions, ameen. May we be of those who always benefit the ones around us and bring them comfort, ameen.

Satan has overcome them and made them forget the remembrance of Allah . Those are the party of Satan. Unquestionably, the party of Satan – they will be the losers. [58: 19]

Ramadan is ending. And we may be prone to this … forgetting to remember Allah swt. This is scary because it says that those who forget to Allah swt become party of the Satan! May we be those who remember Allah swt constantly, at all times, ameen.

He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, Knower of the unseen and the witnessed. He is the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him. He is Allah, the Creator, the Inventor, the Fashioner; to Him belong the best names. Whatever is in the heavens and earth is exalting Him. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise. [59:22-24]

The names of Allah swt used here are just awe-inspiring and full of hope and love! ❤

Maalik- the Sovereign

Al Qudus- the Pure

As Salaam- the Perfect one (also same root as peace)

Al Mumin- Bestower of faith

Al Muhaymin- the Overseer

Al Azeez- the Exalted

Al Jabbar- the Compellor

Al Mutakabbir- The superior

Al Khaliq- the Creator

Al Bari- the Inventor

Al Musawwir- the Fashioner

Al Hakim- the Wise

I wish I had the time to study these in depth and share with you. Maybe next time iA.

O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive – then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward. So fear Allah as much as you are able and listen and obey and spend [in the way of Allah ]; it is better for your selves. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul – it is those who will be the successful. [64:14-16]

We know that children, wives, wealth can be a test. the word used here is “Aduww”, enemies. I recently was listening to Yasmin Mogahed and she was talking about how within our hearts is a place that is reserved only for Allah swt. If we put someone else in that spot then we are setting ourselves up to be deeply hurt. Highly recommend her online course called Transformed. This serves as a great reminder that Allah swt should always be never one in our lives and this is a constant struggle/battle. We constantly reassess and see what position we’ve placed all in our lives in.

It’s interesting that these ayat, once reminding us of the test that our wives, children, and wealth can be, tell us to fear Allah, and spend, and that those who are protected from being stingy are successful. The fearing Allah swt part is obvious … but to be reminded to spend and not be stingy in this context is interesting. Maybe Allah swt is trying to remind us to be generous and spend on our families, but also to spend on others that are not our family? Sometimes we can withhold stuff for our families instead of spending on others. Interesting.

And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. [65:3]

This is an ayah from Surah Talaq. I find this surah so profoundly beautiful and full of hope for a “dark” subject like divorce. In fact I find it full of hope for us singletons too! Allah swt reminds us that hey, you don’t even know what good you’ll be blessed with and you’ll be astounded at where it is coming unexpectedly from! Again, we are reminded to rely upon Allah swt. And again we are told that all has already been decreed, so we shouldn’t be desperate just breathe and place your trust in Allah swt ❤

This is such a beautiful ayah … we are constantly bombarded with negativity, whether you’re single or divorced … people around you look at you with such pity, and make you feel deep hopelessness … but at the end of the day, people don’t know anything. When they tell you, you’re going to end up alone, or you’re too picky for sticking to your standards, you don’t listen to them. For the one you seek from is the King of Kings, not some pity, stingy human being. Alhamdulilah for this!

 

Envy

Sometimes

I deeply envy her

The baby girl

Buried at birth.

This dunya

Praises the zaaniah

And curses the one

Who attempts to persevere.

Buried at birth

Seems a blessing

A relief

Compared to life

In this shallow world.

Ramadan Reflections (Day 22/23)

Bismillah.

Allah is Subtle with His servants; He gives provisions to whom He wills. And He is the Powerful, the Exalted in Might. [42:19]

And it is He who accepts repentance from his servants and pardons misdeeds, and He knows what you do. Allah is Subtle with His servants; He gives provisions to whom He wills. And He is the Powerful, the Exalted in Might. [42:25-26]

Allah swt, Al lateef, Al Qawi, Al Azeez. He always provides for us, there may be delays in what we seek, but there is hikmah behind it.

And if Allah had extended [excessively] provision for His servants, they would have committed tyranny throughout the earth. But He sends [it] down in an amount which He wills. Indeed He is, of His servants, Acquainted and Seeing. And it is He who sends down the rain after they had despaired and spreads His mercy. And He is the Protector, the Praiseworthy. And of his signs is the creation of the heavens and earth and what He has dispersed throughout them of creatures. And He, for gathering them when He wills, is competent. And whatever strikes you of disaster – it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much. And you will not cause failure [to Allah ] upon the earth. And you have not besides Allah any protector or helper. [42:27-31]

This verse tells us why we are tested in our rizq … so peace is maintained, or maybe because of the sins our hands have sent forth. But still, here’s the beauty, Allah swt is the one who forgives. The word used for forgiveness is Afuww … we all know what this means, given that it is ramadan, and this is the dua Ayesha ra was told to make in ramadan. Forgiveness that is like a clean slate, like you never sinned. 😥  The names of Allah swt used in these ayat are so full of hope … Al Khabeer (all aware), Al Baseer (the seeing), Al Wali (the protector), Al Hameed (the praise-worthy), Al Wali (again), Al Naseer (the helper).

To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. [42:49]

I found this ayah interesting … as most people want children. This is a reminder that it is only Allah swt who gives female or male children to whomever he wills.

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, “My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.” [46:15]

I find it interesting that the age of maturity is related to reaching the age of 40. I found the dua to be beautiful too. When I turn 40, I’ll come back and reflect on this.

And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein [50:16]

Those ideas that go through our heads, Allah swt knows. May we be of those who implement the good and leave the bad, ameen.

So flee to Allah . Indeed, I am to you from Him a clear warner. [51:50]

Flee to Allah … oh man do I need to flee to Allah swt. This is the only reason why I’m here. Grateful for having Allah swt as my rabb. May we always flee to our Rabb.

And remind, for indeed, the reminder benefits the believers. [51:55]

We are so forgetful, we need to be reminded, repetitively.

And that to your Lord is the finality. And that it is He who makes [one] laugh and weep. And that it is He who causes death and gives life. [53:42-44]

Every single moment, and emotion, is a blessing from Allah swt.

Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient. Know that Allah gives life to the earth after its lifelessness. We have made clear to you the signs; perhaps you will understand. [57:16-17]

This ayah, is the inspiration behind the name of my blog. Has the time not come for us to turn back to Him swt?

O you who have believed, fear Allah and believe in His Messenger; He will [then] give you a double portion of His mercy and make for you a light by which you will walk and forgive you; and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. [57:28]

Ya rabbi, we so need that mercy … ya rabbi bless us with your mahabbah, and rahmah, ameen. ❤

Ramadan Reflections (Day 21)

Bismillah.

Those [angels] who carry the Throne and those around it exalt [ Allah ] with praise of their Lord and believe in Him and ask forgiveness for those who have believed, [saying], “Our Lord, You have encompassed all things in mercy and knowledge, so forgive those who have repented and followed Your way and protect them from the punishment of Hellfire. [40:7]

Us seeking forgiveness means the angels will seek forgiveness for us. ❤

It is Allah who made for you the earth a place of settlement and the sky a ceiling and formed you and perfected your forms and provided you with good things. That is Allah, your Lord; then blessed is Allah, Lord of the worlds. He is the Ever-Living; there is no deity except Him, so call upon Him, [being] sincere to Him in religion. [All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord of the worlds. [40:65]

The earth we stand upon, and the sky that is above us, are all blessings from Allah swt. May we be of those who are grateful, ameen.

Until, when they reach it, their hearing and their eyes and their skins will testify against them of what they used to do. And they will say to their skins, “Why have you testified against us?” They will say, “We were made to speak by Allah, who has made everything speak; and He created you the first time, and to Him you are returned. [41:20-21]

Ya rabbi, out of your immense mercy upon us, let us not be of those whose eyes and skin testify against us, but for us, ameen.

And of His signs is that you see the earth stilled, but when We send down upon it rain, it quivers and grows. Indeed, He who has given it life is the Giver of Life to the dead. Indeed, He is over all things competent. [41:39]

Stillness, being stagnant. Sometimes when we are shaken, maybe it is for us to be able to grow.

To him [alone] is attributed knowledge of the Hour. And fruits emerge not from their coverings nor does a female conceive or give birth except with His knowledge. And the Day He will call to them, “Where are My ‘partners’?” they will say, “We announce to You that there is [no longer] among us any witness [to that].” [41:47]

I find this reminder beautiful, when the fruits emerge … this is such a quiet change … recently the trees grew leaves out of the buds … such beautiful transition, and so amazing too, but I missed it last year, didn’t notice it, because I was working last summer … these small changes in things around us, or even us can go unnoticed, unless you’re paying attention … but Allah swt is the all-aware and He knows.

Man is not weary of supplication for good [things], but if evil touches him, he is hopeless and despairing. And if We let him taste mercy from Us after an adversity which has touched him, he will surely say, “This is [due] to me, and I do not think the Hour will occur; and [even] if I should be returned to my Lord, indeed, for me there will be with Him the best.” But We will surely inform those who disbelieved about what they did, and We will surely make them taste a massive punishment. [41:49-50]

Arrogance. Associating our successes to ourselves. Forgetting about how a single heartbeat is something we have no control over. May we be healed from these diseases of the hearts, ameen.

And when We bestow favor upon man, he turns away and distances himself; but when evil touches him, then he is full of extensive supplication. [41:51]

This is quite fascinating, so when things are going well for us, we forget Allah swt, and when something goes wrong … we turn back to our prayer mats. I guess this is why sometimes we are tested with hardships. May we be of those who worship Allah swt more heartily in our good times, ameen.

Ramadan Reflections (Day 19/20)

Bismillah.

Whatever Allah grants to people of mercy – none can withhold it; and whatever He withholds – none can release it thereafter. And He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise. [35:2]

This is a reminder that we need over and over again. Our rizq is written. No one can benefit or harm us, unless Allah swt wills.

Then we caused to inherit the Book those We have chosen of Our servants; and among them is he who wrongs himself, and among them is he who is moderate, and among them is he who is foremost in good deeds by permission of Allah . That [inheritance] is what is the great bounty. [For them are] gardens of perpetual residence which they will enter. They will be adorned therein with bracelets of gold and pearls, and their garments therein will be silk. And they will say, “Praise to Allah, who has removed from us [all] sorrow. Indeed, our Lord is Forgiving and Appreciative – He who has settled us in the home of duration out of His bounty. There touches us not in it any fatigue, and there touches us not in it weariness [of mind].” [35:32-35]

Lord of the heavens and the earth and whatever is between them, the Exalted in Might, the Perpetual Forgiver.” [38:66]

The above two are verses that give hope.

He created you from one soul. Then He made from it its mate, and He produced for you from the grazing livestock eight mates. He creates you in the wombs of your mothers, creation after creation, within three darknesses. That is Allah, your Lord; to Him belongs dominion. There is no deity except Him, so how are you averted? [39:6]

Allah swt mentions here “within 3 darknesses”. A friend of mine was recently saying how amazing it is that we don’t remember our childhood experiences … ie when we were born, and early memories. Also, “3 darknesses” is also used to describe how Yunus as was trapped within the whale’s stomach.  And then there are other “darknesses”, one of disbelief, one of depression … may Allah swt remove us from the darknesses and bring us into light, ameen.

So is one whose breast Allah has expanded to [accept] Islam and he is upon a light from his Lord [like one whose heart rejects it]? Then woe to those whose hearts are hardened against the remembrance of Allah . Those are in manifest error. [39:22]

Us being blessed with belief isn’t some self-produced virtue. It is a mercy from Allah swt that we’ve been blessed with Islam. There are so many around us, who are muslims and still not practicing, far away from God, may Allah swt guide them and guide them back to Him, ameen.